The Problem With TikTok’s “Pick-Me Girl” Trend Is More Complicated Than You Think

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The problem was that I was not chill. And I hated it. I yearned to be unburdened from the anxieties of caring and to revel in the magnetism of a breezy attitude. This cultural need to pathologize women who not only take the reins of their identity but also openly engage the full range of their feelings—you know, as a healthy human being tends to—remains a fraught battle as old as time. We are each so deliciously complex and messy; what better way to pay homage to these multiplicities than to feel, to express, and to carve out space to navigate as our purest self? So today and the days to come, I wish for a speedy death to the chill girl within all of us, a kiss of death to the malleable shell of ourselves surviving only on our socialized compulsion to people please.

She likes beer and sports and execution with the guys. A variant of the pick-me girl has also be converted into the subject of a popular POV TikTok, in which comedians or actors portray relatable characters — like WASP moms or a random teacher advent into your classroom during a acid test — reacting to various scenarios. Designed for many viewers particularly women , her Chill Girl is a frighteningly relatable character. Like, oh, there is this one person who acts this approach, but I have no words designed for it. Like, am I going crazy? Am I just being rude before jealous? What is going on? Accordingly what is going on with the pick-me? Why do some women act like this?