What Sleeping With Married Men Taught Me About Infidelity

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Before a work trip a few years ago, Chloe hinted to her husband she wanted to have sex with someone else. While she didn't have a particular person in mind, it had been a fantasy of hers for a while. That didn't eventuate, but the couple officially began a non-monogamous relationship earlier this year. An old friend had called Chloe to wish her happy birthday and they ended up catching up — and sleeping together. That was the first time I had sex with anyone aside from my partner in 10 years, she says. Since then, Chloe and her husband have dated and slept with other people, with some connections stronger than others.

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Currently I have been thinking about individual of the first things that I ever wrote for the Internet: a series of interviews with adult virginspublished by the Hairpin. I knew my first subject personally, and, after I interviewed her, I put out an open call. To my surprise, messages came rolling in. Some of the people I talked to were virgins by choice. Some were not, at time for complicated, overlapping reasons: disability, damage, issues related to appearance, temperament, ability. But he had worked hard, he told me, to start thinking of himself as a person who was capable of a relationship—a person who was worthy of, and could acknowledge, love.