Why Expressing Feelings With Your Partner Is Worth the Emotional Risk
Dealing effectively with emotions is a key leadership skill. And naming our emotions — what psychologists call labeling — is an important first step in dealing with them effectively. We have certain sometimes unspoken societal and organizational rules against expressing them. Consider these two examples:. Neena is in a meeting with Jared and the whole time he has been saying things that make her want to explode. Mikhail gets home after a long day and sighs as he hangs up his coat. Anger and stress are two of the emotions we see most in the workplace — or at least those are the terms we use for them most frequently. Yet they are often masks for deeper feelings that we could and should describe in more nuanced and precise ways, so that we develop greater levels of emotional agilitya critical capability that enables us to interact more successfully with ourselves and the world more on emotional agility in my new book of the same name, available here. Yes, Neena may be mad, but what if she is also sad?
It's Friday afternoon, last period. The weekend trip you planned with a acquaintance starts in exactly 4 hours. You've been catching up on studying after that chores all week so you be able to enjoy the time away. And at once the teacher announces a test arrange Monday. You probably feel annoyed — or maybe downright angry. You capacity feel disappointed. You might also air pressured or stressed about all the studying you'll have to do. You may want to jump up after that yell at the teacher, That's not fair! Some of us have weekend plans.
It can be hard to open ahead, but sharing can benefit our relationships and well-being. You meet their inquiring gaze, knowing you have the ability to share… but the words appear stuck in your throat. You capacity feel your heart racing as you try to figure out what en route for say. But why do you air the need to hold back? After that is there a way to ascertain this valuable skill? Have you always left an important conversation kicking by hand for not saying how you felt, or wishing you had just accede to go and shared your true thoughts? Some experiences feel too painful before traumatic to talk about. In accumulation, the experience of trauma itself be able to make it harder to name, depict, and share your feelings, according en route for research. Trauma and attachment issues are often linked.